Destination: Detours

Even as I type this I recognize that I am far from my destination (and I use the word not to describe an end but as a general idea of where the direction I am heading leads to). However, I am further than I was. I look back years down the path and shake my head as I mumble to myself “why didn’t I see”. I think back to those parts where I was faced with making a decision, where it wasn’t straight and didn’t afford me the luxury of mindlessly wondering along. I degrade my younger self for being so foolish during my contemplation of which way to choose. I am learning from what seems to be divinity that these detours were in fact necessary. Or at least if they weren’t they instead provided me with new knowledge of how to operate and in some cases a new path all together. It is difficult to determine which of the possibilities these experiences were meant for. I suppose it is a combination.

Like I acknowledged earlier I am not claiming to be anywhere near where I will end up but, I have reached a spot where I have started to notice these previously labeled “erroneous” paths beginning to merge. One of the biggest themes that is reappearing lately is Environmental Science. I word it that way because that was my original field of study upon entering college. After the first year that path diverged and I instead chose another direction, Hospitality Management.

To this day it is something I hold part of myself hostage to torture for; not facing the fear I felt during the course of pursuit. In high school I took an AP course for Environmental Science and fell in love with the subject. Despite it being my final year I was genuinely excited to be there and learn each day. I enjoyed it so much that I decided I would continue to study it after graduation.

Being 18 and forced to choose one area of focus that you are then expected to build a foundation for a lifelong career is an intimating decision to make. Upon learning the various harmful practices and exploring possible “stable” career options I remember feeling completely overwhelmed. As I try to to recollect my exact mindset during that period of time I can now determine that the most appropriate word for the sensation that I felt was dread. I admit that at that time in my life I was not equipped with the understanding, compassion, and determination that I have now. It was the accumulation of life experience along the diverted direction I took instead that allowed me to be here now saying “ah, yes I see”.

Hospitality taught me various life lessons, primarily how to interact with others which is a skill that can be applied everyday. One of the most important lessons I learned during this time was that the way people react to me is often less a reflection of me and more a reflection of them. Or to say it simply, I learned to not take things personally. My response may trigger something within another and their response is an automatic reflex formed as a protection mechanism from previous experiences (unrelated to me). This understanding allowed me to see the perspective within myself as well. Plus, Hospitality Management afforded me the experience of living in a new city, meeting wonderful people, and finding yet another path to explore- yoga.

It may have been my hectic schedule or the shock resulting from no longer operating in a school environment after doing so for 16 years but, I felt myself needing my mat more than ever. I had a regular practice in college thanks to two of my good friends. While I enjoyed it, I never (for all four years) once thought about teaching. In hindsight I conclude that I was probably presented with an opportunity to detour. At the time though my head was down and I was only focused on the way I was going. Upon entering the “real world” I began to look up. It was then that I was aware I had the chance to go somewhere new. I followed it and quite honestly have not looked back since.

This all occurred over an extended period of time. The former seemingly has noting to do with the later. However, now I see their convergence. This connection was sparked by a conversation I had earlier today. I am fortunate enough to be teaching yoga at a sustainability ranch in Costa Rica. They host travelers from all around the world with whom they share their agriculture and permaculture practices along with offering yoga. Hospitality, environmental science, yoga... check, check, check. I also have the opportunity to work with the local professionals of each field and learn from them during my time here. I was in the vegetable garden with Fabian asking him about how he got into designing sustainable gardens. From his explanation I got the impression that his path was a bit all over the place. As he was recounting the crookedness of his course I was beginning to think about that of my own. When I retraced my steps to find myself and this current intersection of them all I suddenly understood.

All of the wrong turns that may have taken more time than expected may have in fact been the right turns for the simple fact that I took them. As for the time delay, what is it that I am rushing for anyway? Do I expect to summit some peak and then just hang out and enjoy the view? I enjoy the process of learning and have included the idea of consistently continuing my education in part of my personal definition of success. If I both expect to and want to always learn more then how can I fault my younger self for finding the ways to do so?

I found a book by Paulo Coelho in the Ranch’s library called Warrior of the Light. On one of the pages there was a previously underlined passage that I, like my fellow reader, related to. In reference to the way of the warrior Coelho says; “He must act, but he must allow room for the universe to act too”. As much as I would like to think that I am in full control I do recognize the subtle evidence that proves there are forces outside of myself included in the design process of my path. I do not surrender fully rather, I try to find the way in the middle. The way where I am moving forward but, open to the possibility of exploring different directions as I approach them. Who knows where they will take me. I can only trust that there is no wrong way.

Xo,

Bri